im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
