so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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