I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
3pm strippers are depressing
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
