my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize