Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
