Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize