your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
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