her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
