Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize