Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
