im drinking this country out of the recession.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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