i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
