genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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