you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
