butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
