I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
as a side note pls kill me
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
