considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
