I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
someone owes me an orgasm
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
