I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
