i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize