Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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