ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
