i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
