When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
