I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
