dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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