Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
