you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
