and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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