I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
