Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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