the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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