first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize