you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
