Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Randomize