yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
