So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize