New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
