Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
