dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
