This is not my ceiling
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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