Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
