people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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