So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
