Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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