Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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