Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
