I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
