Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
