I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
high people should be assigned attendants
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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