i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
