oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
