You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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