no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
