So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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