I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
