i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Randomize
