i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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