kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
